He had decided to become numb. To expunge any idea of ever feeling again. It appeared the most logical thing to do. No more heartache, anxiety, or doubt. Sure, he’d lose the odd moment of joy, the occasional thrill. But on the emotional balance sheet of existence it was certainly taking him out of the red. It was clear that we focus so much on the negative, personally, whilst being bombarded with the need for the positive in everything we imbibe. He concluded that even a flatline wouldn’t be so bad. The next night you unexpectedly slipped your hand into his, fingers between fingers, skin upon skin, bone against bone and in the warmth of your gesture he understood what it truly was to experience feelings and to feel. He was delirious, how everything could change if he were to be able to concisely express or capture this exquisite nuanced moment.
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Beautiful. I really resonate with the embrace of feelings after cutting oneself off, in the interest of capturing a revelatory moment of tenderness.