Budget Hotel Observations

10 Short Poems

1.
The cost of living crisis:
Nowadays even budget hotels are 
beyond my budget.

2.
Freshly starched clean sheets,
Egyptian cotton pillowcase luxuries:
Ruined as I picture every past guest 
lying right here, next to me.

3.
The payoff: the higher up in the lift that you go
the less distance you can push open the damn windows.

4.
Note to the cleaner: My diary has a ribbon
marking today’s entry where I left you a message, 
which can’t be unread, 
and certainly not unwritten.

5.
After seeing the prices, I headed straight to the mall 
and duplicated, for myself,  the entire contents of the minibar. 
Drinks, snacks, chocolate and all, then consumed the hotel’s stash,
chuffed as fuck with myself about saving all that cash.

6.
Essential to bring a sleep mask during your hotel stays.
Use liberally under the cruellest bathroom lighting. 
Blinded to full-length mirror portraits
that are otherwise corpulently frightening.

7.
Disappointment, the bitterest,
that any hotel has inflicted on me.
No branded stationary to pinch.

8.
Late-night drunken bed picnic snacks,
whilst dancing in your underpants
wearing the plastic complimentary shower caps.
(we've all been there)

9.
The hotel bar is sure to be full, your mind attests,
of the most beautiful, erudite, fascinating guests.
But no. Just the lonely salesmen in their creased Next suits,
And the sad mute couples sipping Asti from plastic flutes.

10.
However many times I check the floor, 
under the bed, wardrobes, and drawers,
there will always be one thing I leave behind. 
I create these orphans, for some like-minded soul to find. 

---

Photos: Holiday Inn Kensington Forum, London (now closed) Architect: Richard Seifert.

September 2021, Nikon d750

---